Love Must Give Rise

I am torn between fits of heavy, aching grief and an unwieldy anger. From the moment I learned of the unfolding events three thousand miles from my desk, I felt swallowed whole. In the days that have followed, this sense of agony has endured. For the loss of innocents. For the unimaginable pain of a community. For the senseless evil of it all. For the dark, unforgivable trend of violence in this nation I love dearly.

I could not possibly have the slightest inkling of the sorrow and pain the families and friends of the victims in Newtown, Connecticut are experiencing. I would gladly bare any portion of it on their behalf if I could. While I have no personal connection to the town or any of its residents, I know I share in the collective sadness of a nation. A nation whose busy and complicated lives have spun sideways at the sight of such terror and loss being laid upon our fellow citizens. What follows may be erratic or a bit unfocused. But there is little hope of clarity in the aftermath of such tragedy.

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While I have no children of my own at this time, I’ve been blessed in life to be surrounded by energetic, caring, precious little ones for as long as I can remember. Dozens of cousins who fill my grandmother’s house with laughter and playful romping on Christmas Eve. An adorable nephew who is about to celebrate his first birthday. Two more nieces on the way in just a few months. Three beautiful goddaughters who are talented, intelligent, and full of life. The children of friends old and new who bring a fresh spark to our collective lives.

The thought of any of them being harmed makes my blood boil. The thought of any of them coming face-to-face with such horror and fear makes me want to cry out.

What I came to realize on December 14 is that those same emotions exploded through me for children I didn’t know. For innocent lives in a town that I have never visited. My heart aches for Charlotte, Daniel, Olivia, Ana, Dylan, Madeleine, Catherine, Chase, Jesse, James, Grace, Emilie, Jack, Noah, Caroline, Jessica, Avielle, Benjamin, and Allison. Lives stolen. Laughter silenced. Bright futures snuffed out.

And to Rachel, Dawn, Anne Marie, Lauren, Mary, and Victoria, who gave all that they had to give to protect those children in their care, I pray they are given a special place in the next life for their love and sacrifice.

The loss of a child is a tragedy under any circumstances. Whether it is a quiet departure after a valiant fight with illness or a sudden, unspeakable loss in an accident. Losing a child is tragic beyond words. Lives only just begun. So much potential. So many milestones ahead. They represent the best chance for us as relatives, friends, communities, or societies. All of our mistakes can be wiped away by the hope of the next generation. When they aren’t given that chance… we are left with an emptiness.

In this time of reflection, my mind has roamed the far-flung reaches of the human experience for some understanding. Instead, it only widens my sadness. For while this is undoubtedly a time to honor, remember, and pray for those lost in Newtown, ever more senseless pain unfurls across our country and our planet.

Hundreds of children have been killed or injured in Syria since the terrible actions of that government began. At this very hour, more endure pain, suffering and death. Countless children suffer in lands both remote and front-of-mind. Infants dying of hunger in Africa. Toddlers taken by disease in South America. I realize these instances are different in many ways than the aftermath of an unexpected, violent attack. However, my heart tells me they are all connected. They are all preventable. They are all our collective responsibility.

And even here in this country, in this year alone, we’ve watched innocents taken. Not always children, mind you, but innocent lives nonetheless. In Colorado. In Wisconsin. In Oregon. All within one solitary, sad year.

In the wake of the tragedy in Newtown we have begun to hear, and will undoubtedly continue to hear, commentary from every corner. The answers to how we will stem the tide this time. Gun control, perhaps. Better mental healthcare. More security. I don’t have a blueprint for how to approach any of these topics. I doubt any of them will provide a be-all, end-all answer. But what I fear more than anything is what I’ve seen in the past… inaction. A great deal of talk. Very little progress. It happened after Columbine. It continued in the weeks after Virginia Tech. We even discussed it as we watched the horrific events in Norway unfold from afar. It was the lead on every news program after Tucson and Aurora.

But in each instance, the weeks passed and the conversation shrank. A fresh news cycle begins and we as a society lose sight of that hope for change. We can’t remember the names of the victims. It becomes a terrible footnote, usually highlighted by the name and image of the dark soul who committed the act. All is dormant until another, ultimately preventable, tragedy occurs.

I refuse to mention the perpetrator of last week’s act. His memory should be one of shame and cowardess. While evidence should be examined to help inform us as we move forward, he deserves no air time or press. It serves only to take time away from remembering the victims and moving our society forward. It only feeds other twisted minds that sadistically believe some treacherous notoriety seems appealing.

Instead, I think of those lost. Children and adults. Those who suffered and died for no good reason. For that’s the sad truth. We ask why… Why did this happen? But there is no answer that will bring us peace. Because no diagnosis of a troubled mind will make the pain less real. No understanding of some personal, demented motive will make the loss any less senseless.

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I own guns. I don’t have any with me in my current residence, but I do have guns at my childhood home. I grew up around a hunting culture. Around good, responsible men and women who possessed firearms for hunting game or, in some cases, protecting their homes.

Guns are inherently dangerous. Their invention was solely for the infliction of damage. But as we’ve seen in terribly vivid imagery, many inventions can be used to bring about destruction. I’m not here to advocate the seizure and eradication of firearms in broad strokes. Not only is that wildly unfeasible, it is also not a logical solution to our problems.

There are, however, some individuals in this country with inconceivable positions on the issue. While I have no interest in hunting personally, I understand its place in our society and its necessity in some areas of our country and beyond. While I believe guns owned for protection of person or property are more likely to inflict accidental tragedy, I can bring myself to see the perspective of those who adamantly support this practice.

What I cannot reasonably come to terms with is the twisted logic of holding up the Second Amendment as an infallible, un-evolving proclamation. It is ludicrous for anyone to deny the obvious truth that this amendment to our Constitution was written in a radically different time. Circumstances of property and society were so very different than today that it is outrageous to suggest our interpretation of this right should not evolve as well.

In my humble opinion, there is no reason whatsoever for a private citizen to own an automatic or semi-automatic firearm. The sheer violence of which these weapons are capable should mandate that they only be possessed by the appropriate, active members of our nation’s military. And only then in scenarios of righteous action, under careful observation. You do not need an automatic weapon to hunt. You do not need an automatic weapon to protect your home.

They should be eliminated from the private homes and businesses of this country or any country. All other firearms should be regulated. Safety devices required. Detailed background checks a necessity.

Will this solve our problems? No. The sad truth is that it won’t. But if these actions can even marginally reduce the risk of violence, why do we avoid them? It seems some skewed perception of freedom overrules logic, reason, and righteousness.

But again, it isn’t the complete solution. Those with the intention of inflicting harm on others will find a way. It’s terrible but true. We as a society need to find a way to stave off that impulse before individuals find themselves on the brink. I will preface this by saying that I believe in evil. I believe in true, unapologetic, uncomplicated evil. In those cases, preventative measures to affect the impulses of individuals seems hopeless. However, we know that this isn’t the case in the majority of instances. Perpetrators of heinous acts are all too often lost souls, tormented by an ill mind that has been left untreated.

A couple of years ago we had a great debate in this nation about universal healthcare. There was a significant portion of this country that was adamantly against such a proposition. Generally it had something to do with not wanting to pay for other people’s treatment or some fear that the government’s further involvement in healthcare would mean long lines. To hell with those excuses. This country was founded on the idea that all who live here should have equal opportunity for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Universal healthcare touches all of these. We are a great society who has conquered illnesses and developed technologies the likes of which we could have never imagined. Are we to then say that profits will prevent us from providing care to those in need? That we will attach a stigma to some ailments that prevent those in need from seeking care? That people will be left to suffer, or in some cases die, because they can’t afford treatment?

Mental health is just as important an element in that discussion as is physical health. Providing care to everyone creates a stronger nation. More productive members of society. Less fear. Less hopelessness. Less instances of “nothing left to lose.”

Additionally, can we please agree that prisons are not mental health facilities? No matter how much some would like to say they can be. And clearly, the mental health of all of our citizens can directly impact the freedoms of each of us.

A house is a privilege. A car is a privilege. An iPhone. A steak dinner. Vacations. But healthcare should not be a privilege. Until we as a country understand this, millions of Americans will suffer physical and mental trauma. Their pain can manifest itself tragically in preventable death or horrifically in an assault on their fellow man. This should not be a debate.

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All of this would be something. Something real and tangible. Not just the cable news scroll rhetoric. It wouldn’t stop tragic events like Sandy Hook completely. And it surely wouldn’t end the suffering of children in Syria, Africa or around the world. To end all of the senseless violence and pain, we have to think bigger.

We have become a selfish society. The culture of “me” is pervasive. It’s about what I want and what I need and to hell with other people. We create so many divisive lines between us that everyone else can easily be broken down as an “other.”

Why are we here? On this planet. In this time. Whether you believe in the Christian God or worship the infinite Hindu deities or believe in nothing at all… you all wonder now and again, “what’s the point?”

I’m not a theologian by any stretch of the imagination and I certainly don’t have any definitive answers. I can only say what I believe. To me, we all find ourselves on this rock together at this very moment as part of a collective experience. We are a common species. Our biological systems operate in the same way. The instinctual urges of our Id are similar. As much as we devote time to examining our differences, our similarities are all the more striking.

We are all guilty of stumbling from time to time. Greed. Vanity. Envy. Lust. Even the most saintly among us. It’s our position in this world as an evolved species that pushes us to overcome these base urges. At least it should be.

When I leave this world, none of the money I accumulate or selfish pleasures I experience will go with me. They’re fleeting. We as the human race would be better served to focus on how to make the lives of everyone around us better… more complete. It’s a goal that can have a lasting impact not just today, but on generation after generation. It’s something we can accomplish that will last beyond our time here.

We need to focus on revealing value in EVERY member of our society. For only when we look at another human being and see someone who matters can things truly change. If this was the society we fostered, than the ill would be cared for and the desperate would be made whole. The compulsion of those to act out violently could be curtailed before it came to pass. And then, in what would hopefully be the rare instances when it still did come to pass, potential perpetrators couldn’t look coldly on those before them. They would be people, not “others.”

As corny as it sounds, love must rise up. We must love each other so much that we aren’t willing to let someone spiral into darkness. We must love each other so much that we aren’t willing to let innocents suffer needlessly. To starve. To be sick. We must love each other so much that when tragedy occurs, we don’t forget so quickly.

In remembering the tragedies this year alone, we shouldn’t forget those in Colorado… Jonathan Blunk, AJ Bolk, Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt McQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander C Teves, and Rebecca Ann Wingo.

Or Wisconsin… Sita Singh, Ranjit Singh, Prakash Singh, Paramjit Kaur, Suveg Singh, and Satwant Singh Kaleka.

Or Oregon… Cindy Yuille and Steven Forsyth.

Or those innocent souls taken from Newtown, CT this past week… Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Rachevl Davino, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Ana M. Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Dawn Hochsprung, Madeleine F. Hsu, Catherine V. Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli, Grace McDonnell, Anne Marie Murphy, Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto, Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman, Lauren Rousseau, Mary Sherlach, Victoria Soto, Benjamin Wheeler, and Allison N Wyatt.

May all of these lives cut short be at peace. May the families and friends who loved them dearly find comfort in the midst of such darkness. May we do what we can to help them. May we never forget what was lost and how vital it is that we do EVERYTHING possible to prevent these terrible events in the future. And may we as one people, one world, embrace love over ignorance… love over apathy… love over prejudice… love over selfishness.

My prayers and thoughts are with those lost, their families, and a community in need of healing.